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The men who say that they want women without baggage are either idiots or they are actually trying to convey that they don’t want a woman with any responsibility to be so gracious; she didn’t.

I’m just saying that unless she felt that this lapse — perhaps characteristic of one of this man’s generation, although he should know better, and perhaps largely evidence of too little recent experience on his part with dating — was an to me that he was … ) — she tossed away someone who, with some attitude adjustment, may have been fine for her.

Sometimes they were not women I ever encountered in “real life” at all, but enjoyed corresponding with (because I was good at that.

I’ll just say “foregoable.” It may not help her, but perhaps it may help others.

If, on the other hand, found some gratification in feeling superior over someone she had had some connection with and — well, then she got her money’s worth out of that encounter!

(She also may have blown a good chance with an educable partner.) When you’re dating as an adult, you’d better get used to the idea that whoever your with is going to have serious flaws, aka (as she acknowledges) “baggage” — and that with age we become so encrusted with the barnacles of experience that we no longer fit so neatly and smoothly into each others lives.

They’d criticize my game at times in terms of both appearance — Manhattan, or perhaps right for women generally.

Much of the advice, as you may perceive, seemed sort of startlingly sexist — especially coming from mostly successful (or soon-to-be-so) career women — in how much it reinforced traditional gender roles.

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