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Strangely, Hadfield found that very few of the people she interviewed talked about money as the main reason for having a live-in romantic partner. S., where mothers told Hadfield they sometimes didn’t invite their lovers to live with them and their children because it would do nothing but add one more mouth to feed.The problem, of course, is what to do after the relationship breaks up.While most parents tend to cut off ties with their former lovers, it’s seldom that simple for the kids.
That seems to be the best time to share what’s happening. If you’re fortunate enough to go from dating to moving in together and forming a blended family, what role should the new stepparent play?
How do we help kids through these transitions and avoid instability? Kristen Hadfield, a post-doctoral fellow I supervise at the Resilience Research Centre, who has been doing research in the U.
S., Ireland and Canada on mothers, stepparents and kids. First, parents are cycling in and out of romantic relationships at a higher rate than ever before.
As if that’s not complicated enough, parents are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Telling kids about a new romantic partner doesn’t guarantee that kids aren’t going to be resentful either. Like Hadfield, I’d be inclined to suggest that despite the risks, parents shouldn’t talk with their kids about every date they go on.