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Now this post might upset some, and if as a result I’m grabbed by a group of angry Dutch women, and am taken to my own personal hell, the drie dwaze dagen sale at de Bijenkorf, and am forced to carry their bags while they scream at me “IK ZEG SKINNY JEANS, DIT IS EEN BOOTCUT JIJ IDIOOT.” I’ll say to my enemies, “no need to be so aggressive, I was just telling it like it is.”The things I do for my readers!
As Grandmaster Flash once said in the song White Lines, ‘don’t, don’t, don’t do it! Even after 10 years in the land of deep fried cuisine, I still can’t break the habit of opening doors for women.
Impress your Dutch lady by waving your almost full book of stamps in her face, she’ll be like krentenbollen in your hands, and hopefully not as greasy.
If you value your life, never, ever, get the idea in your head to ask your Dutch partner to cook for you. A lot of Dutch women, just like their British counterparts believe that critical processes in preparing a meal involve a microwave, or a dangerous driving scooter rider to execute the delivery of the dish.
Dutch people are the tallest people in the world with 1.84m on average for men and 1.70 for women.
If several men are together, Dutch women, through a series of shouting, rudeness, and intimidation, will eventually home in on the man most likely to carry their shopping bags for them at Albert Heijn in the near future.
They’ll persist until their chosen victim has turned into a lump of quivering jelly.
’ In most of the civilised world, holding doors open for women is considered to be chivalrous and the behaviour of a gentleman. If I’m about to walk into a cafe, and there’s a woman walking in at the same time, I’ll pause and hold the door open for her. A look that says “this guy has just escaped from mental health institution.” Holding doors open for Dutch women will earn you scorn and contempt.
The Shallow Man’s advice is that when you see a woman walking behind you, just let the door shut in her face. She might even and come over and say “wow you’re so well integrated with Dutch society, here’s my phone number.”In nature, a pack of wolves will pick off the weakest caribou then strike for the kill.