Dangers of dating after divorce
Familiarize yourself with the red flags, and you’ll be able to recognize them sooner rather than later. If you’re not feeling worthy, it’s because you need to cultivate your self-care and self-love. Practice, practice, practice, and you’ll improve your ability to choose a better partner next time. ◊♦◊ I recently had a client say that her biggest fear was that she was ‘un-dateable’. Because no matter your past relationship history, you are worthy of love. ◊♦◊ Fear is one of the biggest deterrents to living your best life. But to me, it’s scarier to imagine a life lived in fear, a life without the love you deserve. But wouldn’t you like to live your best life and have your best love? Many of those reasons will be no different to reasons to anyone who has had a straight-forward break-up. Men are actually found to cope less well than women after a divorce.A study of over 3000 people found that even 2 years after the divorce, 41% of men report still feeling a deep sense of sadness.
Check that when they have plans, they can stick to them, even if their ex begs them to see her (this might be more complicated if children are involved).
"Separation or divorce is an emotionally draining time.
Although it might be tempting to lick your wounds with positive attention from another, this distraction can actually inhibit you from the healing work that is necessary to move forward in a healthy way with someone in the future." "If the 'why' is to avoid painful feelings like hurt, anger, or loneliness, then it may be helpful to take some time to heal before jumping back into dating," says Jaclyn Friedenthal, Psy. "If the 'why' is because you have taken time to heal, you now to date, and you're willing to feel all the emotions involved in dating again, then it’s a good sign that you're ready.
What are your fears about dating again after divorce or a breakup?
Maybe you were married or in a long-term relationship with someone who was emotionally or verbally abusive and you don’t want to ever experience that again?